Dialog between Feminism and Femdom

On the face of it there does seem to be a big gulf between Feminism and Femdom. After all, Feminism promotes the concept of equality, peace and harmony between the sexes, while Femdom, on the face of it, seem to be about Women dominating men through force and violence. For this reason Women in Feminism find the whole concept of Femdom abhorrent and repulsive. While the men in Femdom find the whole concept of Feminism, unexciting and impracticable.

What is very noticeable, is that it is mostly women that promote Feminism while men mostly promote Femdom. So the differences between these two concepts could be the differences between how men and women, view the world. So I personally believe that the women in Feminism can learn a lot by trying to understand Femdom, while the men in Femdom can equally learn a lot, by trying to understand the viewpoint of Feminism women.

Femdom is mostly about male sexual fantasies. So men when they masturbate fantasize about being dominated by cruel and sadistic women. Now, there is no problem with this as a pure fantasy, but there are a lot of problems when men try to turn this fantasy into reality. This is because the majority of women do not want to be cruel and sadistic bitches, to satisfy men’s fantasies.

Feminism also has a problem, because it also comes from, an impracticable ideal. Feminism is about sexual equality, and many women do very much like the idea of sexual equality between the sexes, and perhaps for women this might be possible but not for men. How do you get men to agree to a world of sexual equality?

This means that both Feminism and Femdom are only fantasies and both have real problems in making these fantasies reality. But both can bring these fantasies into real life, if they would learn from each other.

Because few women want to play the role of a cruel and sadistic woman, many men have to go to Professional Dominas who will act out their fantasies for them. They then run into a paradox, it is the man who then tells the women what to do and now to behave, so it is the man and not the Dominatrix, who is in charge. There is also a similar problem when men attempt to have a Femdom relationship with women. The biggest complaint women have about Femdom men, is that they, “top from the bottom”. That is the say, these men tell women how they want to be dominated.

Feminists also have similar problems in trying to impose Feminism onto men. They may tell men that they want to have an equal relationship with them, but men have problems in understanding this concept. This is because equality is an alien concept to the masculine mind. Men like most other male animals, are very competitive with each other. If we look at animals like; bulls, stags, lions and rams, we find them fighting against each other for access to the females. There is no sense of sharing with these male animals, the strongest tries to gather the biggest harem he can gather, and not share any with any other male. In other words, “the winner takes it all”.

The male human as a general rule, do you fight each other over women and try to form large harems. (Though very large harems were once commonplace with ancient rulers). But men are still a very competitive with each other over wealth and power. As shown in a survey in the USA in 1998, the top 5 percent had more wealth than the remaining 95 percent of the population. All countries of the world show similar if not worse figures than this. And this percentage is not getting any better but seems to be getting worse

Even when men attempted to create equal societies like in the French and Russian revolutions, they failed completely. Communists or Socialist countries all had problems in imposing equality onto their societies. Every society ruled by men has had a hierarchical structure with a few individuals at top with all the wealth and power and in contrast with the rest of society that is poor and powerless.

This is why men do not understand Feminism and sexual equality. When the Woman's Liberation Movement started in the 1960s, they formed Feminists groups and in the spirit of sexual equality they invited men to join them. But they soon found that men were such a disrupted influence, that most groups ended up banning men. So the concept of sexual equality failed at the first hurdle. (Later some Feminists groups became so anti-men that they even banned the male children of Feminists from attending Feminist gatherings).

This is why men far prefer Femdom to Feminism, because domination and submission is what men understand. Within the competitive mind of men, in his relationship with women he can only be the winner or loser. So if he is the dominant partner then he is free to exploit and abuse the woman. But if it is decided that the woman is the dominant partner, then the woman is free to exploit and abuse the man.

So how can we get out of this impasse? Of Feminists claiming that all they want is equality with men, while men saying that equality is not an option, and it has to be a relationship based on dominance and submission.

The only way forward is for both sides to accept what the other sex is like. Femdom men cannot expect women to behave like sadists and verbally and physically abuse them. Yet, at the same time, women cannot expect men to understand the concept of equality.

Femdom men have to accept that if they want women to dominate them, then they have to allow women to do it their way. So if the woman does not want to dress up in black leather and whip men, then it is her right not to do this, because she is after all the boss. Yet, at the same time, the woman has to recognize that the man wants and needs to know where he stands in the pecking order. If a woman attempts to impose an equal relationship with a man, then he becomes very confused because he doesn’t know, who is the boss. In fact, in many of the relationship in the 20th and 21 centuries this causes difficulties. The man not knowing who is the boss attempts to take over and is put in his place by the Feminist wife. So he then tries to be submissive only to be told, “it’s not about that, we are equal”. Which only creates even more confusion for the man. So the marriage breaks down in continuous arguments, as the man tried to work out his place in the pecking order.

So a woman in a relationship with a man has to work out if she wants to be dominant or submissive with him, and then she has to make it clear to the man what role she wants to play. She doesn’t have to give in to any demands to verbally or physically abuse him, and is free to play the dominant role in whatever way she wishes. Men will greatly appreciate this, because they will at least know, “where they stand,” in the relationship.

So a relationship of harmony between men and women is only possible if women accept the true nature of men and accept that men see relationships only in terms of dominance and submission. If women accept this, then she can have a successful relationship with men, by taking either the dominant or submissive role.