Sunday 8 November 2009

Dialog between Feminism and Femdom


On the face of it there does seem to be a big gulf between Feminism and Femdom. After all, Feminism promotes the concept of equality, peace and harmony between the sexes, while Femdom, on the face of it, seem to be about Women dominating men through force and violence. For this reason Women in Feminism find the whole concept of Femdom abhorrent and repulsive. While the men in Femdom find the whole concept of Feminism, unexciting and impracticable.

What is very noticeable, is that it is mostly women that promote Feminism while men mostly promote Femdom. So the differences between these two concepts could be the differences between how men and women, view the world. So I personally believe that the women in Feminism can learn a lot by trying to understand Femdom, while the men in Femdom can equally learn a lot, by trying to understand the viewpoint of Feminism women.

Femdom is mostly about male sexual fantasies. So men when they masturbate fantasize about being dominated by cruel and sadistic women. Now, there is no problem with this as a pure fantasy, but there are a lot of problems when men try to turn this fantasy into reality. This is because the majority of women do not want to be cruel and sadistic bitches, to satisfy men’s fantasies.

Feminism also has a problem, because it also comes from, an impracticable ideal. Feminism is about sexual equality, and many women do very much like the idea of sexual equality between the sexes, and perhaps for women this might be possible but not for men. How do you get men to agree to a world of sexual equality?

This means that both Feminism and Femdom are only fantasies and both have real problems in making these fantasies reality. But both can bring these fantasies into real life, if they would learn from each other.

Because few women want to play the role of a cruel and sadistic woman, many men have to go to Professional Dominas who will act out their fantasies for them. They then run into a paradox, it is the man who then tells the women what to do and now to behave, so it is the man and not the Dominatrix, who is in charge. There is also a similar problem when men attempt to have a Femdom relationship with women. The biggest complaint women have about Femdom men, is that they, “top from the bottom”. That is the say, these men tell women how they want to be dominated.

Feminists also have similar problems in trying to impose Feminism onto men. They may tell men that they want to have an equal relationship with them, but men have problems in understanding this concept. This is because equality is an alien concept to the masculine mind. Men like most other male animals, are very competitive with each other. If we look at animals like; bulls, stags, lions and rams, we find them fighting against each other for access to the females. There is no sense of sharing with these male animals, the strongest tries to gather the biggest harem he can gather, and not share any with any other male. In other words, “the winner takes it all”.

The male human as a general rule, do you fight each other over women and try to form large harems. (Though very large harems were once commonplace with ancient rulers). But men are still a very competitive with each other over wealth and power. As shown in a survey in the USA in 1998, the top 5 percent had more wealth than the remaining 95 percent of the population. All countries of the world show similar if not worse figures than this. And this percentage is not getting any better but seems to be getting worse

Even when men attempted to create equal societies like in the French and Russian revolutions, they failed completely. Communists or Socialist countries all had problems in imposing equality onto their societies. Every society ruled by men has had a hierarchical structure with a few individuals at top with all the wealth and power and in contrast with the rest of society that is poor and powerless.

This is why men do not understand Feminism and sexual equality. When the Woman's Liberation Movement started in the 1960s, they formed Feminists groups and in the spirit of sexual equality they invited men to join them. But they soon found that men were such a disrupted influence, that most groups ended up banning men. So the concept of sexual equality failed at the first hurdle. (Later some Feminists groups became so anti-men that they even banned the male children of Feminists from attending Feminist gatherings).

This is why men far prefer Femdom to Feminism, because domination and submission is what men understand. Within the competitive mind of men, in his relationship with women he can only be the winner or loser. So if he is the dominant partner then he is free to exploit and abuse the woman. But if it is decided that the woman is the dominant partner, then the woman is free to exploit and abuse the man.

So how can we get out of this impasse? Of Feminists claiming that all they want is equality with men, while men saying that equality is not an option, and it has to be a relationship based on dominance and submission.

The only way forward is for both sides to accept what the other sex is like. Femdom men cannot expect women to behave like sadists and verbally and physically abuse them. Yet, at the same time, women cannot expect men to understand the concept of equality.

Femdom men have to accept that if they want women to dominate them, then they have to allow women to do it their way. So if the woman does not want to dress up in black leather and whip men, then it is her right not to do this, because she is after all the boss. Yet, at the same time, the woman has to recognize that the man wants and needs to know where he stands in the pecking order. If a woman attempts to impose an equal relationship with a man, then he becomes very confused because he doesn’t know, who is the boss. In fact, in many of the relationship in the 20th and 21 centuries this causes difficulties. The man not knowing who is the boss attempts to take over and is put in his place by the Feminist wife. So he then tries to be submissive only to be told, “it’s not about that, we are equal”. Which only creates even more confusion for the man. So the marriage breaks down in continuous arguments, as the man tried to work out his place in the pecking order.

So a woman in a relationship with a man has to work out if she wants to be dominant or submissive with him, and then she has to make it clear to the man what role she wants to play. She doesn’t have to give in to any demands to verbally or physically abuse him, and is free to play the dominant role in whatever way she wishes. Men will greatly appreciate this, because they will at least know, “where they stand,” in the relationship.

So a relationship of harmony between men and women is only possible if women accept the true nature of men and accept that men see relationships only in terms of dominance and submission. If women accept this, then she can have a successful relationship with men, by taking either the dominant or submissive role.

11 comments:

  1. Still, is current women's hardcore vanilla thinking the product of culture, and could change, or are we doomed to live with their Harlequin fantasies forever? Fortunately, there are some strong womyn, too, and with polyamory (male harem) arrangements, there is hope. The doms get a larger number of servants that way, too.

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  2. Expectations is all that femdom men have of women and they will reap nothing at all from trying to attempt to talk feminism small. Femdom is hardly "exciting" in its boring impracticality fabricated and synthesized from antiquated delusional male postulates of power. Old style heterosexism resembles femdom in a badly warped mirror, the two are only interchangable versions of the same old wine in a boring new packaging. Haremic attitudes only derive from patriarchal notions of extended family maintenance perched atop female needs of autonomy like a "vice". The roles were swapped, but the roles remain the same. Femdom men have none of "us" fooled. Femdom is patriarchy, feminism is a broken attempt of earning worth using the brutal institutions of men. A rewriting of human history will not make gynarchic ambitions need any of this masculine whining and tea sop. The womans movement is gaining momentum along different channels. Channels that are ignoring you, ignoring ego validation of those waving the y chromosome around like some sort of flag and this penny ante addiction game was has to endure in writing. Addicts afflict others, themselves and always violate trust. This time we will tear down the masters house and replace it with a sanitarium/communal residence where mirthful treatment, affection by everyone is all one can expect, because there will be no supervision of any kind at all. This is the beginning of the end for the male sport of femdom. Yes, remember I didn't even say this, it was all in your sexual imagination.

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  3. I wanted to add an important point, Femdom is based on domination, therefore it has nothing to do with feminism or equality. I am a prodomme, and although I enjoy the fantasy of being in charge, in my regular life outside of business I am subject to the realities of the outside world. Hearing that I, children and gays are less than males in popular culture (mostly movies), passing language among the uneducated classes and of course in music videos and magazines.
    There is a long way to go, but I am glad to see that at least for a small percent of the population, some men want to see somethign else. Part of it is sexual gratification, but part of it is also the desire to be given permission to be female (esp. crossdressers), and in that respect to be accepted as sexual in a female way. This is one of the reasons men want to control women, because they are in awe of our specific sexual powers and energies. Seeing a Domme is then a way that some men can engage with that power, sadly this is considered perverted and disturbing by greater society.

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  4. PS: To clarify my last post, I began to explain that the idea of women dominating men (in regards to Femdom) IS just another form of abuse or control. And yes the men are still in control, they are paying for a fantasy. The women often tailor their services to the men's desires.
    In regards to feminism, the goal is equality, and therefore Femdom has no part in the discussion. Whether real or not, it's an expression of inequality and has no part in an equal world. There is nothing wrong with sex and fantasy (including bdsm and femdom), there's lots wrong with any group controlling another in the real world.

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    Replies
    1. Feminism has nothing to do with equality and passed that stage years ago.Men,and boys in particular now have the short end of the stick and need help which they are not going to get.
      I have never met,in my near 80 years a dominant woman.Most women are dominant inasmuch as
      they want power,(not sexual power),without any
      responsibility whatsoever.Femdom itself is a total fraud and impractical in the current climate for any number of reasons,one of them being that no man should trust a woman and that has been made plain over the last 20 years.

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  5. William, I am glad to read on these topic in such a honest and respectful way. I may disagree in a few things with you, but I also accept matriarchy as the only hope for our society.

    I like what you say here:
    "Femdom men have to accept that if they want women to dominate them, then they have to allow women to do it their way. So if the woman does not want to dress up in black leather and whip men, then it is her right not to do this, because she is after all the boss."
    After reading this, I realised I might be a "Femdom man", when I thought I was only a femninst man!
    Anyway, I think this sentence shows what it means loving a woman unconditionally. You adapt to her fantasies completely. With no expectations. In that sense, I agree with your point of view.
    A man who puts conditions in sex and tells his woman how to dress, behave or act, inviting her to do something she wouldn't normally do..., that, for me, means putting pressure on her. That is selfish. That's not unconditional love.

    I don't like the words "domination" and "submission". I prefer talking of "service" and "gratitude". Although I am agnostic and I don't belong to any church, I believe in christian love. I have come to believe in matriarchy by the "christian" way: destroying my ego and listening carefully at women and their demands. Identifying with them. Breaking the line of my male gender to embrace the androgin.

    Either you by the way of Femdom, or me by the way of chirstian love, we are both pointing towards the same ideal: matriarchy, or the matristic worldview, is our only salvation from self-destruction.

    I also liked your other blog "The matriarchal Tao".

    Blessings.

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  6. "Femdom is mostly about male sexual fantasies. So men when they masturbate fantasize about being dominated by cruel and sadistic women."

    Wanted to say that this may be the case with some fantasies, but certainly not all. For some people, femdom may be about the odd, sadistic, chains and leather thing. For others, being dominated or controlled doesn't necessarily mean being subjected to cruelty. It can be quite the opposite.

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  7. poor protestants...u seem unable to understand how you have been tricked into a female ruled impotent society that is on the verge of extinction.these fantasies of feminism and femdom will never work in reality,yet for last 150 years in western countries(that is protestant countries like US,UK scandinavia,germany etc) academics and intelligentsia had been saying protestantism is corrupt beacause it promote male abuse of women.god did'nt create women to be feminists or men to be femdom perverts.these feminist femdom trainig was indroduced into protestant society by catholic jesuits under the guise of freemasons.They initiated suffragist movement through which they indoctrinated protestant men and women in feminism ,matriarchy and feminism with the sole aim of destroying protestantism.The effect of this we clearly see in mainline protestantism today which has become impotent in many ways.But because there were true christians who were spiritually descerning to understand these fantasies were promoted to destroy the protestant society,protestantism survived and yes Jesus is still bulding his church and gates of hell like catholicism and lies it secretly promote will not prevail over it and the final protestant church will encompass all mankind-that is the gods church and this will happen before the rapture-coming of christ.In rapture belivers will be taken and hypocrites(those members of gods church who never really believed in the truth) will be left behind to face the great tribulation http://thegodschurch.blogspot.com/

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  8. Isnt this what us sissies live for ? I do . I would never go back to a relationship where the woman was not in charge

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  9. I am glad I avoided the femdom thing. I would never have been happy. I have married a woman who loves me but agrees to spank me. I avoided the punishment thing instinctively as I knew that was an unhealthy side of me that needed to die. The spanking thing wouldn't die though so we have a compromise.

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  10. You make some very good points, along with some broad generalizations (the gentler, more sensitive men who see things in terms of EQUALITY rather than dominance are not the ambitious/assertive/aggressive/materialistic//testosterone-rich bad boys that most feminists want to fuck, so you have little experience with them). Ie, you completely fail to mention a highly relevant fact-that the more desirable women demand, and have demanded for thousands of years, that men be wealthy/successful/protectors/physically strong, etc etc-so much of the bullshit feminists bitch about has been of their own creation and choice. If desirable women REALLY favored and rewarded gentler, less wealthy and powerful men, who were not driven to have power over others, or to acquire as much money as possible (ie, men who had more spiritual interests, for example), you'd see a LOT of men becoming gentler and more spiritual in a hurry. Women have made their own bed, seeking men with power and money, and now they're lying in it (and telling yourselves that you're "victims")!!

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